I’m in Australia now. Sydney. I no longer work in a supermarket. But if you want me to work in yours, I will, I definitely will. I’m still spending all of my time in them anyway. Yesterday, in one supermarket, I signed a petition in return for free mango. Not sure what it was for. I said:
I’M SORRY I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SENSORY EXPLOSION CAUSED BY THIS LARGE CHUNK OF ACTUAL GOLD AND ACTUAL SUNSHINE.
Anyway. Two equally interesting facts about me are that I lived in Australia from age 0 to age 5 and that for this particular period in my life I was a fairy. The real deal. I ate only Fairy Bread, an Australian delicacy. Fairy Bread consists of a slice of white bread, spread with butter, covered in hundreds and thousands, and cut into triangles. Isn’t it about time that somebody adapted this recipe for safe adult and human consumption? OOH ME ME I’LL DO IT I’LL DO IT!! Okay then.
Grown-Up Nutrient-Rich (PFFFT) Chia-Sesame-Poppy Fairy Bread
(Serves 1 human)
3 tsp chia seeds
3 tsp poppy seeds
3 tsp sesame seeds
1/4 tsp vanilla essence
1/4 tsp oil, whatever you have
1 large pinch brown sugar, plus more to taste
Butter or margarine
1 slice bread, white is best for this one
Preheat oven to 160 degrees celsius. Combine first five ingredients, and the brown sugar, and spread on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Place in the oven for about twenty minutes, but keep an eye on them. Butter your slice of bread, right up to the edges. Remove seed mixture from the oven and allow it to cool. Add more brown sugar to taste. Spread the mixture onto your slice of bread. CUT IT INTO TRIANGLES. Eat it. Cast spells.